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07:36pm 08/02/2015
mood: Older
Since we last talked:

I lived in Italy for 4 months
I joined a burlesque troupe and have been performing drag for about 7 years as Aquanette Prudence Jones
Gina is married to Lukanga Ndalima and has lived in Nairobi for 5 years (she has recently returned for a brief time) and is the mother of two wonderful young people, Josefina and Sebastian. I visited her twice
Danny got divorced and has twins who are now 4 years old
I quit Alan Bilzerian and went to work for Riccardi on Newbury St
I'm engaged to Nathaniel J Fink (currently studying at Tufts University). He proposed on a boat in Portland, ME on our 5th anniversary. We have a cat, Genevive.
I live in Chicago, IL
I'm a first year graduate student at School of the Art Institute of Chicago in the MDes Fashion, Body, and Garment program
My parents still live in Barnstable
Nini has moved into Uncle Sal's apartment
President Barack Obama

I still don't own a dulcimer and I still am narcissistic and a bad speller, but autocorrect fixes that flaw easily.

(sleep with one eye open)

dont get it twisted   
01:57am 05/12/2006
  my head kills. im not sure the candle i put in my window is enough light for the rest of my time.  

(sleep with one eye open)

01:19am 29/11/2006
  the big bang brought me here. i havent been here in ages. the sun is shining. no it's not.

i almost forgot about these here internet pages. i just wrote an essay of a letter to a lost friend about my past few years and now i have found the written accord of those said events.

oh lj. i feel i have missed you. for so long i couldnt blabber aimlessly. you are where i learned how to forget grammar and punctuation. you are where i learned to keep my mouth shut in regards to boyfriends and harbouring unauthorized studets in your doormroom.

my sheets are warm
i feel so happy i just typed in this url.

(sleep with one eye open)

state of the union   
03:15pm 07/06/2006
  i havent used this in a while but i wanted to pose a question. when did this country's leading bipartisan views turn into a case of Christian vs. Democrat? I'm so sick of hearing people accuse the Christians of all being bigots and vice versa... not all Democrats are liberal. We live in a society, in my view, where no matter what your personal belifes are, you establish an open mind on issues and for an educated opinion in order to reach a solution which does not negatively affect one party. Im deeply offended that a leader, wether president or city council representative would make a decision that would potentially harm one of the people they are chosen to govern with no apology. I cannot be a citizen of a country where i am viewed, at even the smallest level as a second class citizen. To classify citizens as groups and allot one differnt rights than another is not an admirable way to lead. I feel such anger toall people of this country who do not use thier own heads.  

(sleep with one eye open)

what a spring break   
09:54pm 08/03/2006
  so saturday night i cant remember, but in the course of the night i was kicked out of a bar for falling asleep, and a i might have been taken advantage of during my sleep by an aquaintance who smelled my penis out of curiosity

sunday i was held hostage (sort of) by said aquaintance, kicked out of another aquaintances apartment when previous aquaintance threw a picture of jesus at a wall

monday i revisited new buddah's delight, had a good time a jaque's cabaret, got cheated on (admittedly, quite randomly) while helping a friend who was blacking out and puking into a cab and getting her (and her friend from home) home. dragging said friend out of cab while she was screaming and thrashing, dealt with cops who were called to scene by (probably many) neighbors, found out about cheating while in a shower washing my friends puke off of my hands, went to bed not knowing what to think

tuesday i had to recollect the story of the night for said friendsand it hit me what happened so i went to the studio to work but just got horribly depressed and came home to friends hanging out in my apartment with the boy who had just done my heart in. so i hurried and collected goth items in a north quincy swimming duffle bag, slammed my doors and headed over to brighton to do a marylin manson/ dita von teese wedding inspired photoshoot with jen kennealy (forgive my spelling) and her friend ama lea at BC. after the shoot i dropped my stuff off here at the apartment and went over to becky, sophie and alex's apartmet to sleep over

wednesday woke up at 5:30am to go to New York to buy last of my fabric with sophie, ryan and becky. met up with sachi and amy and spent a lot of money on fabric. came home, contiued my immature silent protest of friendship and took a shower. then i fixed the internet connection and here i am ranting.

so spring break has worked out just like it should i guess, and i didnt even have to go to cancun for it to happen!

(2 exposed corneas | sleep with one eye open)

the train and why it sucks   
12:31am 21/01/2006
  tonight was darrens going away dinner in melrose at mexico lindo. it was good food, but then all hell broke loooooothst. so we finished eating at like 10:15 and decided to get some beer before we left so that we didnt chance missing the stores closing, so matt b, matt l, some kid, darren and i went on a hunt for a liquor store. becky went with patrick and some other kids to the oak grove stop. the first place we went to was closed at 10, so we decided to go to a nearby store, but we got lost and then when we got there, they didnt accept out of state id, but let matt buy for everyone eles, wierd. so then we headed back to the t stop, but when we got there becky was mad cause it took 45 minutes, and the people she went with left her alone. then we were waiting for like 20 minutes on the platform when we heard an announcement that the orange line was bussing between sullivan square and oak grove because of a medical emergency. so i wnent to ask the attendent where to get the bus, and she was a total bitch and no help, so we waited a little more. then a guy who had walked from malden center came and told us that the bus wasnt running regualrly, so we left the train platform and met about 10 others who were waiting for the bus. soon after, 15 minutes or so, the bus came and we were on our way. we then boarded a train and got off at north station where we had to get on a c train to get off again at park street to catch a b train so we could head to the casbah for thier party. by the time we got the B train and got to allston ?(crammed in like sardines no less), it was one oclock. 1 fribggin o clock. we had left he resturaunt at 10:15, and got to allston at 1am. it sucked and i almost actually cried. to make matters worse, when we got the party, not on,y was the boy who i have had a crush on for about a year now there, but he was in the same room as i was most of the night and i couldnt do a thing about it beause of my current "quasi" state (dont get me wrong, i like the "quasi" boyfriending, but i have wanted to see this boy at a casbah party since i found out about him, and it has never happened.) so overall, commuting was a night mare, but i did have a balst at work counting ancient socks for inventory. and if i want to get up for work on time, i need to go to bed. it feels like i died tonight.  

(sleep with one eye open)

memory and dreams   
06:56am 17/01/2006
  last night i had a dream that i seduced Mr. Mark, my middle school vice principal in the cafetaria of sacred heart school, but it was really a follett bookstore and he was my manager.

school starts tomorrow. that's wierd.

i wrote to my sister finally.

i hope i get into the polaroid class.

my mom asked me if i was ok on the phone today. apparently they thought i was daydreaming and unlike myself and thought it was because i was in love. i laughed. maybe it's because im slowly going crazy.

(sleep with one eye open)

"that does in my head"   
03:13am 13/01/2006
  today nathan and i went to the beatles laser show. then we got bukarah with zoe and friends. then it was time for chapters 1-12 r kelly flow. what an awsome night.

work tomorrow though!

(sleep with one eye open)

if my room contained a 5 cd changer it would be playing:   
11:59pm 08/01/2006
  number 1: antony and the johnsons "i am a bird now"
number two: coco rosie "noah's arc"
# three: nancy sinatra "nancy sinatra 2004"
#4: devendra banhart "cripple crow"
5. patrick wolf "wind in the wires"

these are the people i sleep with.

soon school will start again... and then i will have to face the real world. my only wish is that no matter how i turn out, i never stop liking my friends.

(sleep with one eye open)

aye yaye yae!   
02:23pm 02/01/2006
  the thing about a bedroom, is that, i believe, it is the most representitvly personal things one can have. it represents everything good about you and everything bad. little signs. little signs of you and your life. to me, it's a way i can surround myself with myself. my room has areas where i hardly ever go... over to the bookshelves, to the windows, have i ever even opened that drawer?

i realized how much i like bedrooms today whil i was cleaning it.

verdict: i like bedrooms for sure!

ps: i saw the complete r kelly closet song thingy today and i still feel dumb....

not only was a man in his cabinet, but he was a midget!


(1 exposed cornea | sleep with one eye open)

stroking midnight   
09:46pm 30/12/2005

try to contact friends more often via phone
ditch my fear of relationships and stop being picky about boys
tells boys i have crushes on the truth
be more honest
call my brother more
make more art
make art for spring sale
finish with honors in at least 2 classes
research cities
buy a dulcimer
read books

(sleep with one eye open)

12:15am 28/12/2005
  what if all you got was one chance at love? can you fall in love with more than one person in your life? is it possible to even fall in love? do we make up love? i think i'm very afraid of love. i can never fall in love the way i did the first time.

these are wierd thoughts that have popped into my mind in the past 5 minutes. now i'm off to take a shower. what a weird mind i have tonight! damn you sigur ros and plymothbrockton buslines!!!


(sleep with one eye open)

strange christmas   
01:46am 26/12/2005
  so a good friend lost a father and my cousin gained a baby (and regained movement in her leg and hand) all within two hours. christams is a strange time.

golden girls season two get together soon?

(sleep with one eye open)

"it's like calling a menorah a candle stick"   
05:01pm 23/12/2005
  i'd like to thank the mayor for sticking up for the christmas tree. my feeling is, if you dont like christianity or what christmas stands for, then dont friggin celebrate it and stop buying into consumerism and fake holidays assholes. sorry if that offends anyone.

my christmas whish list has grown:
my best friends dad to get better

thats pretty much it actually...

there's a lot more i had on my mind... but i have forgotten it all...

(1 exposed cornea | sleep with one eye open)

01:51am 17/12/2005
  ok, so school is pretty much over and i survived. i guess its never as bad as it seems. its just now that i have all this time, im lonely. i hope people will hang out with me. = )  

(sleep with one eye open)

snow way!   
08:57pm 09/12/2005
  so i got a half day at work and that rocked! i was shoveling and there was lightning. pretty romantic i think. today i realized that in the winter months i tend to fall in love at least once a week with a random stranger on the 39 bus. i also realized i fall in love with strangers a lot in general. that is why the internet is not a good thing. the end.

ps not really.

i worked on one collar draft for 5 hours today. i am never going to finish all four outfits by wednesday!but ive come to terms with my lack of time and i think im willing to say "fukkit". besides, itsd better to be absent minded and daydreaming about 39bus boys, shuttle boys, internet boys, customers boys, lesbians that look like boys at first glance, and the naked boy on the lucy parsons center bike documentry anarchy black and white flyer thing., than to be thinking coherently!

(2 exposed corneas | sleep with one eye open)

08:06pm 01/12/2005
  so for all those who think art school is easy, which most of you dont because you are in art school, the graduating class of seniors in fashion design at mass art has, in a week, gone from 14 to twelve. since the begining of sophomore year, it has dropped from 35. this shit is getting to me!
i went to school in november and came out in december, what!?Tuesday night i worked on my 3rd outfit till like 3am, then went to school and presented and it was fine. Wednesday night zoritza, becky and i stayed at school working on our CFDA/ Target competition projects all night and i didnt get back home till 11am. That equals me being in pretty much the same room for 26 hours. when i went home, i took a nap for an hour, almost didnt wake up and went to class. Then i found out i was selected as one of the six students to represent MassArt fashion in the competition, which means now i have more work to do. on monday i have the first section of my Mapping project for art since 1945, then tuesday i have 4 seaming samples, 2 godet samples, and some other thing due in coutoure techniques, my universal acceleration project in astronomy and all the corrections to my portfolio for CFDA, and essay and paperwork are due for the competition. on wednesday i have the last class of creative fashion in which we will be deciding a theme for the show and image ideas for the postcards and posters, thursday i have my resume due, as well as mock interviews for degree project. friday i have work, saturday i have work, sunday i have work. monday is the last art since 1945, tuesday is last coutoure techiques and astronomy, wednesday is my review in which my 4th garment is due as well as all other garments with corrections (all runway ready), then i work thursday-christmas.. in the span of that time i have my final presentation of my runway project including flats, illustrations, mood and fabric boards as well as theme statement, and my Mapping project is due on the 20th. I also have to clear up my still missing literary tradition credit sometime in this period.

and then i get 3 days off after christams before i start working again full time till school starts in january and then i start my 7class schedual so i can graduate.

oh my god. it just hit me how much time i need.

i am so tired. physically as well as emotionaly. my back is starting to hunch and today i had to take advil for severe neck pains i was gettign at work. i almost feel asleep standing up while i was folding tee shirts. i feel so helpless. all i want to do is write to my sister and talk to people on the phone. i feel so distressed because of so much stuff. i feel like ive lost all my friends because of all the work i have to do. i really want to be there for koya and i kills me i cant help her. i want to go out and find a boy and i cant even sacrafice two hours to go to a bar or just plain "out". my room is a mess. i think we still have fleas. i want to move in with sophie and alex, but i dont want to leave zoe behind.

i am so lost.

i dont know if i can do this for long. i think theres something wrong when one wishes to collapse from exaustion just so there is a chance to stop for a bit...

in good news, my hair was cute today.

(3 exposed corneas | sleep with one eye open)

11:37pm 27/11/2005
  survey sayCollapse )  

(sleep with one eye open)

so what's new?   
01:36pm 20/11/2005
  apparently the enigma that is gentelmen still confuse/ scare me.

i seem to have developed a very bad body odor over the past few months. i wonder if i should start eating bettetr. i did eat soup for two days in a row and my pee smelled like it. i think i'll stick to not eating well if that's gonna be the case.

i wrote my art since 1945 take home today and i hope she likes it cause idontcareitsdone!

we found 3 dead mice in my kitchen today. they are now currently residing in the backyard. and still surrently attached to the weapons of their destruction. hey. i a humanist, i dont belong to PETA, sorry.

Speaking of PETA, i decided to be an ass and start a group called PELT. it stands for People for Ethical Livestock Treatment. As i see it, i'm still going to eat them, but at least i know they were happy.

In addition to my new odor, i have become increasingly bitter.

I made art today. I think i'll just identify as a performance artist and i'll consider waking up my form of expression.

I also was thinking in a stream of thoughts today, that if they do wind up banning gay marriage in the coming months, i will be at the statehouse with a sign that says something like "THIS FUCKING FAGGOT WILL KILL YOUR WIFE NOW, GOOD JOB AT MAKING ME HAPPY", or maybe i'll just stick to my original plan of silly stringing the fence outside... oh man... that would suck to clean up.

i just want to kiss more.

im procrastinating sleeping sorry. i'll stop this nonsense.

(2 exposed corneas | sleep with one eye open)

relapse recovery   
03:55am 13/11/2005
  my horoscope today:

How nice it is to relax after all of the craziness of the last few days, Dave. You might be feeling understandably tired and need this day to recharge your batteries. Don't pressure yourself to get much done. The chores and cleaning up can wait until tomorrow. For now, enjoy chatting with the family and friends who stop by. It's a day to reconnect first and foremost.

last night was one of those strange occurences. one of those normal kid nights. hang out with friends after work, go out to a bar, hang out a bit more, go home, go to party upstairs, have a sleepover with someone you havent seen in a long time. then you fall asleep and wake up and feel like everything is finally going to be normal for a few days.... and then when you're alone you realize its more stressful to be OK than worried.

... normal kid stuff.

(sleep with one eye open)